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I vomuted on the floor today. I rememvered this

There are two types of fun: things that are fun when you’re doing them, and things that are fun in retrospect.

I often agree with David but not about picture quality. It is much more distracting when a movie looks like my screen is covered in Vaseline than when it's clear and crisp.

Conan O’Brien has created massive numbers of funny bits on TV and RUclips. Whomever claims to not like the Conan bit can get buggered .

Here's me on the scale of caring, I am at zero, therefore negative caring is impossible rather simply caring of another sort love and hate being different sides of the same coin etc etc, I couldn't care less

Question to david Mitchell you just won ten thousand pounds(because youre british and not american)in a breakdance competition how do you spend it???: A.buy a swimming pool!!! B.buy up a sweet new cologne!!! C.buy some fancy bling!!! D.buy a new ferrari!!!

The reason is simple - you can't do something deemed useful and wanted because you would be replacing someone already doing that job.

I qualified for Mensa before even applying. I utilize an IQ score that was mandatory during a particular psychological exam. So I was completely aware I could be part of it. That being said, in my immediate fear of daily contacts was sufficiently deprived of people of this intelligence level. I went to a school with 100 people in my class. Statistically speaking, only one other person would have been in the top 2% and qualified. Granted, it was an upper level private school, which would've shifted that number higher. But when you're 17 years old and, want to discuss engineering, astronomy, or any other variety of diverse topics you don't find that often in a high school. Instead, you have music and fashion and movies and sports, all which board me to tears what Mensa provided me was access to the individuals with similar interest, and a membership that set the bar relatively high.

The British teeth though if you tell us to say stuff right you've at least have teeth to say stuff with

England and France have been rivals for a long time, thus "herb" makes sense to differentiate from french The USA has not and h dropping isn't uncommon here, thus "erb" makes sense to be more true to the language's ROOOOOOOOTS, BLOODY ROOOOOOO----

I remember Weird Al bringing this up in "Word Crimes"

I am not a native English speaker, so every time I see this video I first read "singing tits".

Well Well so you qualify to be a village idiot..well done .Bach.🏴󠁧󠁢󠁷󠁬󠁳󠁿

I love marmite

The T at the end of valet is pronounced because it came to English in the late fifteenth century and French didn’t drop the pronunciation of the final T until after that.

Once, when I worked in a supermarket, a customer wanted me to tell him where he could find "desecrated" coconut.

I think I saw Mulholland Drive when I was like 16, so I would absolutely describe the lesbian sex scene as a "pleasurable revelation."

Dear Brits, We will do as we please. Thank you for caring. Love, Americans.

Unless you're Frank Zappa. That man's brain was just wired differently. He was never going to name his kids anything other than "Ahmet", "Dweezil", "Moon Unit" (as shown), and "Diva".

It's happening in the present day too and just as bad if not worse than the Vikings. It's 2024 and hundreds of barbarians are entering the UK every day.

This hasn't aged well. Presumptive American vice presidential nominee JD Vance is, in fact, passionate about sofas.

As a kid I used to watch my dad at social gatherings nurse one drink all night long - occasionally topping off with water. I found out later that it was because alcohol upset his digestion. I got drunk at a party once as a late teen, and the resulting dizziness and vomiting convinced me that my dad’s technique made for a better experience. Thanks for the example, dad.

chef needs to show how to eat a sandwich held together by a wooden steak .... classic DM

SNOT OUT OF A ROCK HAHAHAHAHAHAHA love this man

am i the only one who is here in 2024?

Never heard of lemsip. Must be a UK thing

"Ladies, you're all looking lovely today" - problem solved 🙂

"'Well, it's about time to go', I desperately and silently scream to a universe that could not conceivably care less" This would be a pretty cool gravestone reading

A similar one to could care less is give a fuck or gives a fuck in rapper parlance. One doesn't give a fuck. If one gave a fuk, then they would be at some level of caring

It' pronounced L.O.L.

Your nose is inoffensive despite the size of your ears.

You breathe well.

But I am like jam. Pretty much everyone likes me, but too much of me makes you sick😂

"You don't get sponsored to go on holiday" Every TV personality who made a travel show left the chat.

Mine gets cut once or twice a year, whether it needs it or not.

1:13 if you are here from the memes

I should of got off of my soapbox and not bean to judgmental. 😁

Get them to pronounce the 'L' in solder, instead of calling it sod'er. I mean they don't call their beloved soldiers 'sodiers. do they.

1:27

Pierce Brosnan!!!!

This hasn’t aged well….

I feel spastically ecstatic about Data Analysis.

Ha’n Gernowyon? Pyth a brederydh y’ga hever? (Nyns yns mar dhrog!)😊

I’m in the army and I hate my boss.

2:18 i did perhaps the ugliest laigh ive ever done at this

0:35

The funny part is, it's considered rude to ask someone here in the USA, too. In fact, employees are strongly discourage from even telling their fellow employees.

Dave, you've conflated two things. Yes there is climate change but no it's not the fault of human beings. Sorry, but the conflation of these has become unhinged. Cars and cow farts are not the cause of climate change, or rising sea levels.

David, if you don't like haircuts don't have your hair cut! I've not been to the hairdressers/ barber since 1991. OK yes it us a bit long but I wash it every day. What's more I also have a shave every day which is more than you do these days.

That ending was fantastic! Unexpected...